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Just watched this courtesy of YouTube. It's one of those old made for TV movies in the 70's,  horror (or horrible) film titled DOGS.

Now, you younger folks won't know this, but back when the original JAWS came out, it made a giant splash. And I do mean giant. It was in many ways the very first summer blockbuster, and the other studios and filmmakers of the time took note. They saw the dollar signs and decided that if that Spielberg kid could make monster money with a monster movie revolving around cheesed-off wildlife, so could they. How hard could it be, after all?

Let's just say that the results showed everyone the difference between making a movie, and making a GOOD movie.

Over the next few years the screens were inundated with animals-run-amok films: ALLIGATOR (a giant gator embiggened by cast-off steroids eats people; one of the better attempts). GRIZZLY (a giant bear chows down on park goers). TENTACLES (giant octopus eats swimmers). ORCA (giant killer whale eats swimmers and a great white shark; in JAWS 2 the franchise returned the favor by having their even bigger great white eat a killer whale). THE SWARM (Killer Bees big everyone.) And on, and on. They even made a movie about killer earthworms. The sub-genre finally died with the release of DAY OF THE ANIMALS, in which literally every animal in nature (or at least on one nature trail) turns on humanity. The film died at the box office, mostly because it came out the same day as STAR WARS, a film with hope and heroes and excitement, and it turned everyone off of nihilism for a while anyway.

But before the mercy blow, we got some awful, awful films. Like DOGS.

The plot is simple like most of these films. In rural California at a college town, domestic dogs start to turn feral and run in packs, killing first a few random people and then everyone that can. It's implied that what looks like a dozen dogs at most is able to slaughter literally everyone in town, aided by the fact that no one in this film has a functioning brain.

In detail:

Right at the start we learn that the people in this desert town allow their dogs to wander around at night in the wild. I guess the dogs must have eaten the coyotes, else the coyotes would be eating them. That and this is one heck of a way to act given that there are ranchers around, and dogs allowed to run wild will kill livestock. And these are college professors. (We actually have the hero mention later that most of the people here are idiots in almost those words.)

The hero, a biology prof, is asked to look into the killing of livestock by the local sheriff's department. What, they don't have any vets on hand? He sees tat the stock has been killed but not eaten, which is odd. He also has to deal with a new biology professor who's brought in to teach, some eccentric who talks about pheromones affecting animal behavior and maybe making them violent. Hmm, no idea where this could be going. He also argues that animals in a group will display a heightened collective intelligence, which sounds kind of unlikely to me. They can share information to some extent, yes, but he seems to be arguing (and the movie uses this) that they gain more and more intelligence like some hive mind.

We also find out about a nearby mysterious government facility doing particle physics experiments that sometimes causes local blackouts because of their drain on the power grid. Now remember that, it's important -- actually, no, despite getting built up heavily through the film it turns out to mean absolutely nothing at all. I think this is supposed to be a red herring, but it's handled so poorly it comes off more as something they could have just dropped with no effect whatever on the plot.

The rancher who discovers that a pack of predators is killing his stock decides to wait for them with a rifle. Alone. You can guess what happens next.

Later that night our hero gets called in to examine the man's torn body (but he lived alone, so how would they know he'd been killed? Did someone drive out to check up on him? Answers, curse it, answers!). He and the new prof figure out between them that the guy was killed by dogs of differing sizes from the bite marks they left, and from this deduce that the local dogs are the killers. Oh yes, and that pheromones are somehow making the dogs do this. Based on -- well, they never say, really. Other than 'it's got to be the reason.'

If this is their usual scientific method, no wonder they're teaching at some little podunk college.

At the same time a local guy on a motorcycle gets killed by the dogs after the hounds set a trap for him. The dogs also eat a meddling old lady after she walks into the middle of a rather obvious savage dog attack (well, as savage as it can get when the dogs are all barking and wagging their tails in very obvious "Wheeeee!" mode). I have to say, for a 70's made for TV movie they don't stint on the gore here, even if it looks clownish.

The biology professors take this to the college president, who seems to be the mayor as well, and we get the beaten to death by now "But you have to think of the lives!" "I can't shut down the town and panic everyone for a rumor!" argument which is always supposed to make the authority figures look like greedy dolts for not panicking thousands upon receiving some wild story.

At the same time there's a kindergarten dog show. The dogs predictably go nuts but everyone gets away. This finally leads to the truth about the killer dogs coming out and everyone starts demanding action, with several of them telling the sheriff and Professor no. 1 that they need to organize a posse, hunt the dogs down, and shoot them. The common sense solution is of course rejected, at which point the angry locals decide to make the sheriff take them out killer dog hunting.

This leads to a posse of four people (that's it? Why not call the State Troopers for some backup?) going out to get drunk and basically behave like the kind of imbeciles these sort of people always are in these sort of movies. To the surprise of no one the dogs kill them that night. This is made much easier by the fact that the dogs attack them one at a time, and instead of, say, USING THEIR RIFLES they just stand there and stare like idiots while their pals are slowly torn limb from limb.

I begin to wonder if the dogs really have heightened intelligence or if the people here are just that dumb.

Meanwhile the two biologists try an experiment to see if they can keep a dog from running off to join the pack with pheromones. It fails utterly. So much for that hypothesis. The dog runs off for the pack rather than attack them, which given they were unarmed and out in the open despite knowing full well that several dozen killer dogs were on the loose would have been quite easy. They first go to the sheriff's station and find the deputy dead and hidden in a closet. What, the dogs killed him and then hid the body? They take some shotguns (Smart!) but only one of them thinks to take ammunition (Idiots!) and drive off to either look for help or trouble. Got to wonder why they didn't use the radio which was RIGHT THERE to try getting some help in. They do use it to call the sheriff, but given that he's lying dead on the floor of his patrol car he's not much help.

And some female character we know nothing about other than she was at a party in the beginning and laughed at some story about dog attacks gets torn to shreds in her own bathtub after she leaves a lawn door open and the dogs get in. Would people be this careless in southern California in the years after the Tate-LaBianca murders?

Our heroes then drive for the mayor's home and discover him being mangled by his own beloved pet dog in his own front yard. Wow, such irony! The two biologists try saving him but end up shooting him dead -- actually rather realistic as they tried shooting the dog off of him and these guys ain't exactly marksmen. They check on his wife but she's dead too. They then decide to split up, with the main hero going to check on his girlfriend while Pheromone guy goes to save everyone at the college.

Pheromone guy gets every student into a maintenance room. This is one small college, they seem to have about 20 students. Then again that's more than the population of the town. Would it have killed them to have a throwaway line about most of the population bugging out? Pheromone guy then decides for no apparent reason to take everyone from the nice secure maintenance room to the library. He first rescues a rather hefty student from being eaten by the dogs. They were barking at him and chased after some food he threw away to escape -- hey, what happened to "killing for the lust of killing"? Pheromone guy tries shooting the dogs but discovers that his gun is empty and that oh yeah, these things need bullets to be useful.

Meanwhile we see that everyone in the maintenance room just wandered outside after being warned about the dogs for, well, just because, I guess. Yeah, they're going to be a big loss to humanity when the dogs slaughter them -- oh, sorry, hope I didn't blow anything there. They get chased to the library by the dogs, leaving several people behind to be butchered. Meanwhile Pheromone Guy and the portly student head for the library. They see the dogs and just kind of dither around. The fat guy finally runs for the doors (despite a dozen dogs standing right there) and smashes them as he gets inside. The dogs follow and kill everyone as they either run like chickens with their heads cut off or cower on the ground. Pheromone guy watches all of this from about 10 feet away and the berserk blood-crazed killer dogs -- completely ignore him.

Pheromone Guy: "No! Why not me too?!?"

Killer Dogs (barking): "Not you. You live with it."

Okay, they didn't do that, but it would have made as much sense. After the massacre, he just strolls off into the night.

The other biologist finds his girlfriend. They plan to escape but as they spend what seems like forever getting everything together (hey, massacre is occurring, get in the car and get out NOW!). They also stupidly leave doors and windows open that the dogs use to get inside the house -- does anyone in this movie have a brain?? The dogs chase them into the garage where they try breaking through the door and then start tearing through the drywall that forms the garage walls. These two get into their car (she left the keys in the house -- brilliant!) and spend the night there.

The next morning no dogs are in sight. Also, the drywall is untouched despite the dog-sized holes last night. They try to go back into the house for supplies. These people Do Not Learn. The dogs are there (surprise!) and they flee across the street into a different car despite hotwiring the first one last night and make their break.

On the way out of town they find the sheriff, laying dead OUTSIDE his car, as well as some other bodies (the posse? But they died what looked like a mile away, and -- oh forget it). Including Pheromone guy, who was killed here by the dogs. When they could have killed him just as easily and effectively for movie reasons back in town half a dozen times. The last two characters then drive off with radio reports coming in of a state of emergency and dogs attacking people everywhere but don't worry, it's only dogs doing this so far...

And they drive past a housecat which looks at the camera and says: "That's what THEY think! Mwua-hahaha!"

Well, no. Instead it just gives this really weird-sounding meow and the film just -- ends. Kind of like Hitchcock's The Birds, provided Hitch was an idiot.

I think you can see why this film can be so readily found for free online. The worst part is that with just a few lines of dialogue they could have cleared up so any problems. The films seems to have been rushed out to make a few fast bucks, and to be honest it probably did so. At thee same time just a modicum of thought could have made this so much more.
916 deviations

deviantID

ardashir
Eric Hinkle
United States


Just watched this courtesy of YouTube. It's one of those old made for TV movies in the 70's,  horror (or horrible) film titled DOGS.

Now, you younger folks won't know this, but back when the original JAWS came out, it made a giant splash. And I do mean giant. It was in many ways the very first summer blockbuster, and the other studios and filmmakers of the time took note. They saw the dollar signs and decided that if that Spielberg kid could make monster money with a monster movie revolving around cheesed-off wildlife, so could they. How hard could it be, after all?

Let's just say that the results showed everyone the difference between making a movie, and making a GOOD movie.

Over the next few years the screens were inundated with animals-run-amok films: ALLIGATOR (a giant gator embiggened by cast-off steroids eats people; one of the better attempts). GRIZZLY (a giant bear chows down on park goers). TENTACLES (giant octopus eats swimmers). ORCA (giant killer whale eats swimmers and a great white shark; in JAWS 2 the franchise returned the favor by having their even bigger great white eat a killer whale). THE SWARM (Killer Bees big everyone.) And on, and on. They even made a movie about killer earthworms. The sub-genre finally died with the release of DAY OF THE ANIMALS, in which literally every animal in nature (or at least on one nature trail) turns on humanity. The film died at the box office, mostly because it came out the same day as STAR WARS, a film with hope and heroes and excitement, and it turned everyone off of nihilism for a while anyway.

But before the mercy blow, we got some awful, awful films. Like DOGS.

The plot is simple like most of these films. In rural California at a college town, domestic dogs start to turn feral and run in packs, killing first a few random people and then everyone that can. It's implied that what looks like a dozen dogs at most is able to slaughter literally everyone in town, aided by the fact that no one in this film has a functioning brain.

In detail:

Right at the start we learn that the people in this desert town allow their dogs to wander around at night in the wild. I guess the dogs must have eaten the coyotes, else the coyotes would be eating them. That and this is one heck of a way to act given that there are ranchers around, and dogs allowed to run wild will kill livestock. And these are college professors. (We actually have the hero mention later that most of the people here are idiots in almost those words.)

The hero, a biology prof, is asked to look into the killing of livestock by the local sheriff's department. What, they don't have any vets on hand? He sees tat the stock has been killed but not eaten, which is odd. He also has to deal with a new biology professor who's brought in to teach, some eccentric who talks about pheromones affecting animal behavior and maybe making them violent. Hmm, no idea where this could be going. He also argues that animals in a group will display a heightened collective intelligence, which sounds kind of unlikely to me. They can share information to some extent, yes, but he seems to be arguing (and the movie uses this) that they gain more and more intelligence like some hive mind.

We also find out about a nearby mysterious government facility doing particle physics experiments that sometimes causes local blackouts because of their drain on the power grid. Now remember that, it's important -- actually, no, despite getting built up heavily through the film it turns out to mean absolutely nothing at all. I think this is supposed to be a red herring, but it's handled so poorly it comes off more as something they could have just dropped with no effect whatever on the plot.

The rancher who discovers that a pack of predators is killing his stock decides to wait for them with a rifle. Alone. You can guess what happens next.

Later that night our hero gets called in to examine the man's torn body (but he lived alone, so how would they know he'd been killed? Did someone drive out to check up on him? Answers, curse it, answers!). He and the new prof figure out between them that the guy was killed by dogs of differing sizes from the bite marks they left, and from this deduce that the local dogs are the killers. Oh yes, and that pheromones are somehow making the dogs do this. Based on -- well, they never say, really. Other than 'it's got to be the reason.'

If this is their usual scientific method, no wonder they're teaching at some little podunk college.

At the same time a local guy on a motorcycle gets killed by the dogs after the hounds set a trap for him. The dogs also eat a meddling old lady after she walks into the middle of a rather obvious savage dog attack (well, as savage as it can get when the dogs are all barking and wagging their tails in very obvious "Wheeeee!" mode). I have to say, for a 70's made for TV movie they don't stint on the gore here, even if it looks clownish.

The biology professors take this to the college president, who seems to be the mayor as well, and we get the beaten to death by now "But you have to think of the lives!" "I can't shut down the town and panic everyone for a rumor!" argument which is always supposed to make the authority figures look like greedy dolts for not panicking thousands upon receiving some wild story.

At the same time there's a kindergarten dog show. The dogs predictably go nuts but everyone gets away. This finally leads to the truth about the killer dogs coming out and everyone starts demanding action, with several of them telling the sheriff and Professor no. 1 that they need to organize a posse, hunt the dogs down, and shoot them. The common sense solution is of course rejected, at which point the angry locals decide to make the sheriff take them out killer dog hunting.

This leads to a posse of four people (that's it? Why not call the State Troopers for some backup?) going out to get drunk and basically behave like the kind of imbeciles these sort of people always are in these sort of movies. To the surprise of no one the dogs kill them that night. This is made much easier by the fact that the dogs attack them one at a time, and instead of, say, USING THEIR RIFLES they just stand there and stare like idiots while their pals are slowly torn limb from limb.

I begin to wonder if the dogs really have heightened intelligence or if the people here are just that dumb.

Meanwhile the two biologists try an experiment to see if they can keep a dog from running off to join the pack with pheromones. It fails utterly. So much for that hypothesis. The dog runs off for the pack rather than attack them, which given they were unarmed and out in the open despite knowing full well that several dozen killer dogs were on the loose would have been quite easy. They first go to the sheriff's station and find the deputy dead and hidden in a closet. What, the dogs killed him and then hid the body? They take some shotguns (Smart!) but only one of them thinks to take ammunition (Idiots!) and drive off to either look for help or trouble. Got to wonder why they didn't use the radio which was RIGHT THERE to try getting some help in. They do use it to call the sheriff, but given that he's lying dead on the floor of his patrol car he's not much help.

And some female character we know nothing about other than she was at a party in the beginning and laughed at some story about dog attacks gets torn to shreds in her own bathtub after she leaves a lawn door open and the dogs get in. Would people be this careless in southern California in the years after the Tate-LaBianca murders?

Our heroes then drive for the mayor's home and discover him being mangled by his own beloved pet dog in his own front yard. Wow, such irony! The two biologists try saving him but end up shooting him dead -- actually rather realistic as they tried shooting the dog off of him and these guys ain't exactly marksmen. They check on his wife but she's dead too. They then decide to split up, with the main hero going to check on his girlfriend while Pheromone guy goes to save everyone at the college.

Pheromone guy gets every student into a maintenance room. This is one small college, they seem to have about 20 students. Then again that's more than the population of the town. Would it have killed them to have a throwaway line about most of the population bugging out? Pheromone guy then decides for no apparent reason to take everyone from the nice secure maintenance room to the library. He first rescues a rather hefty student from being eaten by the dogs. They were barking at him and chased after some food he threw away to escape -- hey, what happened to "killing for the lust of killing"? Pheromone guy tries shooting the dogs but discovers that his gun is empty and that oh yeah, these things need bullets to be useful.

Meanwhile we see that everyone in the maintenance room just wandered outside after being warned about the dogs for, well, just because, I guess. Yeah, they're going to be a big loss to humanity when the dogs slaughter them -- oh, sorry, hope I didn't blow anything there. They get chased to the library by the dogs, leaving several people behind to be butchered. Meanwhile Pheromone Guy and the portly student head for the library. They see the dogs and just kind of dither around. The fat guy finally runs for the doors (despite a dozen dogs standing right there) and smashes them as he gets inside. The dogs follow and kill everyone as they either run like chickens with their heads cut off or cower on the ground. Pheromone guy watches all of this from about 10 feet away and the berserk blood-crazed killer dogs -- completely ignore him.

Pheromone Guy: "No! Why not me too?!?"

Killer Dogs (barking): "Not you. You live with it."

Okay, they didn't do that, but it would have made as much sense. After the massacre, he just strolls off into the night.

The other biologist finds his girlfriend. They plan to escape but as they spend what seems like forever getting everything together (hey, massacre is occurring, get in the car and get out NOW!). They also stupidly leave doors and windows open that the dogs use to get inside the house -- does anyone in this movie have a brain?? The dogs chase them into the garage where they try breaking through the door and then start tearing through the drywall that forms the garage walls. These two get into their car (she left the keys in the house -- brilliant!) and spend the night there.

The next morning no dogs are in sight. Also, the drywall is untouched despite the dog-sized holes last night. They try to go back into the house for supplies. These people Do Not Learn. The dogs are there (surprise!) and they flee across the street into a different car despite hotwiring the first one last night and make their break.

On the way out of town they find the sheriff, laying dead OUTSIDE his car, as well as some other bodies (the posse? But they died what looked like a mile away, and -- oh forget it). Including Pheromone guy, who was killed here by the dogs. When they could have killed him just as easily and effectively for movie reasons back in town half a dozen times. The last two characters then drive off with radio reports coming in of a state of emergency and dogs attacking people everywhere but don't worry, it's only dogs doing this so far...

And they drive past a housecat which looks at the camera and says: "That's what THEY think! Mwua-hahaha!"

Well, no. Instead it just gives this really weird-sounding meow and the film just -- ends. Kind of like Hitchcock's The Birds, provided Hitch was an idiot.

I think you can see why this film can be so readily found for free online. The worst part is that with just a few lines of dialogue they could have cleared up so any problems. The films seems to have been rushed out to make a few fast bucks, and to be honest it probably did so. At thee same time just a modicum of thought could have made this so much more.

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:iconsomerandomminion:
SomeRandomMinion Featured By Owner 7 hours ago
Sonata Dusk seems to have..."moved up" in the world: trohobo.deviantart.com/art/Gig…
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner 7 hours ago
At that size she can use the planet to stuff a taco.
Reply
:iconsomerandomminion:
SomeRandomMinion Featured By Owner 6 hours ago
Shh! You'll give her ideas! :fear:

Adagio Dazzle: "HA! Now we can be the new goddesses of this pathetic place and--why is Sonata taking out that hot-sauce bottle?" 
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner 15 hours ago
Nice, except Bon Bon was out fighting the bone fiends. 
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner 7 hours ago
I just edited it to have her returning to the CMC and Lyra from the battle.
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner 14 hours ago
Oops, I'll rewrite that later, got to run right now.
Reply
:iconyoshiegg64:
yoshiegg64 Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Seeing as you love Pony Suits so much.

yourfavoritelove.deviantart.co…

Oh no looks like Rainbow Dash dressing in style has backfired! :D
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Thanks, I mean that. :rofl: Poor Dash didn't plan that one out very well.
Reply
:iconmagicman001:
MagicMan001 Featured By Owner 2 days ago
So what did you think of the latest episode?
Reply
:iconardashir:
ardashir Featured By Owner 2 days ago
I like the references to real-world griffin mythology with things like the griffin love of gold, the Arimaspi, and even the Central Asian feel to them. I thought it was very well done.

And I really liked seeing Gilda come back.
Reply
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